God Got Served (Not Quite)

THE PLEADING:

In the District Court of Douglas County, Nebraska

STATE SENATOR ERNIE CHAMBERS, Plaintiff,

v.

GOD, Defendant.

COMES NOW the Plaintiff and alleges for his claim for relief against the Defendant:

NATURE OF THE CASE

1. This action seeks a permanent injunction order Defendant to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats.

PARTIES

2. Plaintiff is the duly elect and serving State Senator from the 11 Legislative District in Ohama, Nebraska.

3. Defendant (also known by various aliases, titles, names, designations) is present in all places at the same time ("Omnipresent"), is the admitted perpetrator of the deleterious acts complaint of herein.

JURISDICTION AND VENUE

4. This Honorable Court has jurisdiction by virtue of the fact that Defendant, being Omnipresent, is personally present in Douglas County.

FACTUAL BASIS OF THE ACTION

5. Defendant is present in Douglas County by and through putative agents, representatives, spokespersons (hereinafter "agents") of the various religious denominations, persuasions, cults and the like, who publicly and notoriously hold themselves out to be agents of Defendant who are authorized to speak for and represent Defendant.

...

11. Plaintiff cannot determine which of said agents upon whom to make service of notice.

12. The law does not require Plaintiff to perform a futile act.

13. It would be a futile and perhaps unlawful act to nail a notice to the front door of each such agent, even if every one were known.

14. Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon Defendant ("Come out, come out wherever you are") has been unable to do so.

15. Plaintiff respectfully requests this Honorable Court to take judicial notice that Defendant, in addition to being Omnipresent, also is all-knowing ("Omniscient").

16. Plaintiff under admittedly peculiar circumstances of this singular case, respectfully requests this Honorable Court to waive personal service.

17. In the alternative, Plaintiff respectfully requests this Honorable Court to find that lawful personal/constructive service has been effectuated by virtue of the fact the Defendant, being Omniscient, shall be deemed to have actual knowledge of this action, sufficient to satisfy all requirements of law regarding notice.

CLAIMS FOR RELIEF

...

COUNT II

19. Defendant directly and proximately has caused, inter alia, fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornados, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating drouths, genocidal wars, birth defects and the like.

...

COUNT IV

21. Defendant has directed said chroniclers to assemble and disseminate in written form, said admissions, through the Earth in order to inspire fear, dread, anxiety, terror and uncertainty, in order to coerce obedience to Defendant's will.

COUNT V

22. Defendant has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that Defendant "will laugh" when calamity comes.

...

COUNT VIII

25. Contemporary agents of Defendant assert that Defendant has informed them by way of direct and personal communication, that Defendant has caused, is causing, and threatens to cause more calamitous catastrophes rivaling or exceeding those of yore.

...

PRAYER FOR RELIEF

Plaintiff respectfully prays this Honorable Court:

(a) To grant Plaintiff summary judgment.

(b) In the alternative, to set a date for hearing as expeditiously as possible if the Court deems such hearing not to be a futile act.

(c) To enter a permanent injunction enjoining Defendant from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats as identified and described herein.

(d) To grant any other and further relief that this Honorable Court deems proper to serve the ends of justice and equity.

Dates this 14th day of September, 2007.

***

The District Court threw out the case, opining that the Almighty was not properly served due to His unlisted home address. On November 5th, 2008, Chambers filed an appeal to the Nebraska Supreme Court. The case came to an end on February 25th, when Nebraska Court of Appeals dismissed the appeal and vacated the order of the District Court, holding that "a court decides real controversies and determines rights actually controverted, and does not address or dispose of abstract questions or issues that might arise in hypothetical or fictitious situation or setting".

Chambers was first elected to the Nebraska State Legislature in 1970, and upon further successes in subsequent elections, on April 25th, 2005, he then became Nebraska's longest-serving state senator. He was not allowed to seek re-election in 2008 in light of a constitutional amendment passed by Nebraska voters in 2000, which prohibited Nebraska state legislators to hold office for two consecutive four-year terms.