Perhaps the idealistic, wide-eyed part of me at times thinks that when major quakes happen in life, something like graduation or getting my own place, there will be some accompanying background music that primes you-- quite rightly-- for the things to come. But no, life has not its own soundtrack. Even when I was perspiring profusely writing in the first thirty minutes of my last few law school exams, there were no trumpets, no horns and no violin to prime me for the immense stress to which I was subjecting myself. The major quakes just happened and poof, when I finally manage to catch myself, everything was over.
These changes, for the most part, they are good ones. And one thing that I realize is that I do not express gratitude often enough. The feeling dawned on me the first time when I was miles away in Milan, at the Duomo Cathedral, when I looked up at the altar of the church, and then the words came to me, 'Thank you God. This is amazing.' And it was. It had been for quite a while already.
So I took one of the candels, lit it up and put it amongs the many candelabrums at the Cathedral, and I gave thanks to Him. At that moment, in the stillness around me, I caught myself. I thought, 'Well done, Calvin Magnus. You are in a good place.' And at that point I decided to practice living the joy, to be mindful of it, and to express gratitude for it. Apparently, as evidenced by the cumulated receipts within the following 14 days, this made me burn a massive hole in my pocket.
Things are to change again in the next twelve months. I hope that the next time I catch myself and note of the stillness around me won't be-- like the last time-- only after a long interval has lapsed since Milan. Take time off, and take notice of the (little) wins-- they are there somewhere-- and practice gratitude. Note to self.
