Positive Intention

Every behavior has a positive intention, I was told. I've been trying to practice this as much as possible since the day I read it. And I totally get it. At the end of the day we are just imperfect human beings chained (perhaps biologically) to our own lofty and rosy ideals, whose dimensions stretch so widely that the corners are almost always beyond reach--no matter how hard we stretch our fingers. The resulting discomfort then brews uncontrollably underneath, beneath the skin-deep chivalry that is too fragile and too permeable to hold anything in. We helplessly discharge the discomfort on the world, hoping that at the very least we have the swordsmanship to perform the task elegantly. We know that words cut--and they cut deeply--and that there is no armor donned by the most chivalrous among us that can fend off the cavalier performance. That is why we strive to strike with elegance. Alas, even at that there is little saving grace, notwithstanding how adroitly we engage in verbal gymnastics, we cannot reach those corners of ourselves that our minds and confidence have falsely constructed. The elegance is simply inelegant. However, few of us see that. Ultimately, in spite of our blindness we shake our discomfort so reflexively because, unfortunately, we shake our discomfort helplessly. If this is so, then what is to be done by our unfortunate listener, clad in an armor too frail and too permeable to shield him from the incisive words of his helpless counterpart--knowing that the latter is just painfully trying to stretch the fingers to reach the frontiers of the widely stretched ideals. There is positive intention behind the behavior, and it is hard to practice it.