Once upon a time, I chanced upon a blog of a friend of mine.
In reality, she was this bubbly bright spark on crack, always smiling and happy. However, when she penned her thoughts into chunks of lengthy paragraphs, that image that I had of her was totally shredded. Through her words, she became this suicidal, drug-abusing, punk-rock chick who just seemed to turn everything into sombre black-and-white. I still remember telling myself 'What is up with this girl?'
There and then, I promised myself that I would never turn into one of these emo-kid, uberly sensitive, misanthropic pessimists if ever I made a blog of my own.
How easy it was to say it then? Exactly 24 hours ago, I foolishly brought my idle self to check my email. One email caught my eye. Little that I knew, it was a ticking bomb lurking to crunch my much-protected and vulnerable ego. As I laid my eyes on those words flashing across the computer screen, this invisible force grabbed me with its firm fist and refused to let me go. On and on I read the email, each word a blow to my frail ego.
For the past weeks, I had pressed the protection shield button, and managed to shut the blinds behind which lied this painful truth, which happened to be encased in the email.
There was an adage that said sticks and stones can break my bones but words would never wound me, or something to that effect. My reply: BULLSHIT. Words are the most annoying bitch out there. Sigh. The worst thing was that I actually let that beast in and devour that weakest part of my ego. Crap. Crap. Crap. I should have been more ignorant. That was a dumb move. My succumbing to this self-imposed paranoia, however, was dumber.
